Right after I practice galloping as a mythical horse. What am I gonna do? I think it's time I made a call to my boys in Detroit to scare this bear straight. I'll make sure nothing like this ever happens again. If this bear steps foot in our town again, we're throwing him in prison. Malloy hasn't gotten into any real trouble yet.Īuto, 137 moving violations, and he called my partner a įirst of all, I don't know where he could have heard language like that. We called ourselves the cool friends gang.Īnd when I say we were hard-core, I mean we were hard-core! Get outta the sleigh, bitch! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Whoa, Denzel was in a gang! Let's all take a moment to soak in that startling revelation. See, back when I was a kid in Detroit, I was in a gang. Where did he get a flamethrower? - What? It was Christmas. Oh, I thought you were bobbing for french fries again. I saw him go that way with a flamethrower. Where is your little Prince Charming? Don't ask me, I'm grounded. There's a costume contest? And the winner gets to meet v-v-v Viggo Mortensen! I've got the perfect costume! The mythical Shadowfax! The Lord of all horses! Hey, wait, what the hell? Hey! Oh! This ain't right! Stop! Help! From now on, you getting in the back. Tol-Con's gonna be awesome! Ooh, you have no idea. It helps me forget that I work in a boring-ass park and that my best friend is a nerd with a micro-phallus. Steve, I'm glad you opened my eyes to this fantastical world. The only thing that gets read in Detroit is your rights. God damn! Now that is how you close out an epic fantasy trilogy! I can't believe you never read these before you met me. Malloy, stop trying to murder Steve, or else! This will teach you to ruin my fun. Why, last night, Malloy said a dirty word, and I washed his mouth out with a bar of chocolate. Why is Malloy acting out all of a sudden? Because he's a wild animal, and Woody never disciplines him. Malloy's always been kind of an asshole but, is it just me, or is he, like, way worse recently? Well, if he is, I haven't noticed.Īah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Ah, good, another Doonesbury I don't get. For real? Y'all dress up and stuff? - Oh, hell yeah, we do.Īah! Brickleberry! Brickleberry! What's the matter, Connie? Malloy replaced my toiled seat with a bear trap. Oh, before y'all arrested me, I was on my way to a convention filled with wizards and dragons. Shut up, shut up, shut up! Uh, what the hell are y'all talking about? Lord Of The Rings convention. Oh! Lord Of The Rings is our favorite thing. Tol-Con? I can't wait to go with you, Denzel! Oh. Ooh, can you believe it's only three days until J. Look out! That guy's burning down a village with his dick! I know for a fact that Viggo Mortensen's hung like an Elven horse.
What? Not only was it bigger, he could shoot fireballs off that shit.
Aragorn! Gandalf! Denzel, there's no way Gandalf's dick was bigger than Aragorn's.